Over-communicating and doing it exceptionally well
As we watch and listen to the challenges occurring worldwide, it is even more critical to get back to the basics and begin communicating face to face more often. The Harvard Business School came out with a recent study stating the average leader believes they over-communicate, when in reality, the average leader under-communicates by a ratio of one to a hundred. Starting TODAY, communicate more often, do it exceptionally well and do it in different ways, to increase the chances you are being heard and to make sure what you meant to say is what your listeners heard. Over-communicating and doing it well means understanding the importance of getting to the point of not miscommunicating. The majority of individuals I have the opportunity to work with ramble on because they speak in run-on sentences. Even more frightening, most individuals are not aware they ramble. They only wonder, “Why do I get interrupted often?” or “Why aren’t my ideas heard?”
If you want to be an exceptional communicator, find out what exceptional communicators do and follow it. Find out what poor communicators do and don’t do it. You may be grinning right now and saying, “Well, duh. I know this.” But do you really? I have asked thousands of individuals the question, “What drives you crazy about how some individuals communicate?”
Their responses include the following:
- Individuals who take forever to get to the point
- Individuals who ramble on and speak with non-words (i.e.; uh, um, like, and, so, ok, but, and so on)
- Individuals who fidget with their fingers, rings, hair, pen, suit coat, etc.
- Individuals who don’t look them in the eyes consistently when they speak
- And the number one response: individuals who talk to their notes, PowerPoint slides, etc.
As my participants are sharing these responses, they are demonstrating these behaviors without even knowing it. Most of us are oblivious to what our listeners see and hear when we communicate, whether we are communicating face-to-face or over the phone. Even more challenging is when we throw technology into the mix. We do not immediately know what our listeners are thinking while they read our e-mail messages.
What do I mean by communicating in different ways? Stop relying solely on email, texting, twittering, etc. How many of us are guilty this very moment of sending an e-mail to our co-worker who is sitting on the other side of our cubicle? I am not saying technology is not valuable. It is valuable when we know when and how to use it. Face-to-face communication seems to be becoming a lost art. Since we are doing it less often due to the ease of technology, our ability to communicate exceptionally well is negatively impacted.
Make face-to-face communication your new trend if you want to:
- Minimize miscommunication
- Influence your listeners to take action
- Motivate your peers and teams
- Build and cultivate relationships – personally and professionally
Use a variety of ways to communicate.
Use a variety of ways to communicate to make sure you are being heard. For example, when the stakes are high, deliver your message in person, then follow up this conversation with an email or written announcement. Following your face-to-face conversation, identify the second form of communication based on your listener’s expectations. Do your listeners prefer email, a conference call or written communication in the form of a document? To make sure you are heard you will need to communicate your message more than once. Ask your listeners questions to ensure they are understanding your message.
How would you define a high-stakes situation that would require a face-to-face conversation? Here is a start:
- Negotiating fees, services, timeframe for a project, etc.
- Building a relationship with a potential client for the first time
- Resolving a challenging situation
- Asking for clarification
Communication does not need to be complicated if we get back to the basics and begin improving our face-to-face communication FIRST. During your next face-to-face conversation ask yourself, “Is what I am saying consistent with how I am saying it? Based on the importance of my message did I communicate enough? Is what I meant to say understood?”
How important is it to you to make a change in your way of communicating? If you have a clear purpose, want and desire, you can begin TODAY changing the way you communicate forever.
Stacey Hanke is an executive consultant, author, coach and speaker with 1st Impression Consulting, Inc. in Chicago, Ill. Contact her at: stacey.hanke@1stimpressionconsulting.com or (773) 209-5970. www.1stimpressionconsulting.com/
This article appeared in the May-June, 2009 edition of The Planner